Making My Weight Loss A Priority Over Dating

When I returned to my weight loss journey in May 2009, I had decided then that I would make my weight loss a priority. No more doing my home business stuff first. I needed to make my health be the first thing I took care of every morning. And I have. I have been totally faithful in this respect. I even have made it to the gym on my lunch hour or at the end of the work day for the few days that I have worked away from home.

Well now I must again make losing weight be a priority over something else in my life; dating. It's fair to say that online dating websites have been quite interesting for me. They are pretty damaging for one's self esteem to begin with. Not only must you appear photogenic in your photos placed on your profile but you must also be attractive and thin. Now I know there are some men that love thick women and BBWs; I'm not talking about them. I am talking about the other 90% of men that prowl these sites. Sorry ladies, thin is still in. How do I know this? I am a member on a very popular weight training website. (I won't give it all away but maybe you can figure it out. ) Anyhow, the other night I was reading a thread that was listed in the relationship section. This thread was on a particular dating website. There were 4 pages filled with a discussion in which all the men had agreed that dating websites are filled with mostly fat women and this one free dating site in particular; plentyoffish.com.

These men had let me in one their schemes without even knowing. lol I read each and every response in that discussion and it seriously made me sick to my stomach. These men ranged in ages 18-26. These men all agreed and voiced the same opinions about 2 things with this dating site in particular:

1.) All the women on the site are fat

2.) It's ok if a girl is thick because they don't mind having sex with a thick girl but they won't date them.

They posted profile photos of particular women they were "after" and some men would chime in warning the poster of the photo to be careful because the photo appears to have "Myspace angles", simple meaning the girl is fooling you with a face shot but that she is really fat.

I refuse to be the "fatty" on the dating site. I won't give those men or any man the satisfaction of stereotyping me and throwing me in with the rest of the ladies on that dating site.

Another reason why I am not going to date until I lose weight is that lately I seem to be attracting bigger men online. I have never been attracted to obese men or even men with 20-40 pounds extra. I've always been with or dated very athletic men. I realize I sound like a hypocrite since I am fat but it's just the way it is for me. I want a man that likes to workout and who will do it with me. I just realized how important that was to me over the past week. I won't settle!

I am losing the weight and won't stop until I hit my goal of 143. Now, I am not saying I won't date at all while I continue to lose weight. I am not opposing natural dating. I.e. a man talks to me at church and asks me out or whatever. I am just not going to be active on dating websites or be on the prowl for a man.

I know when all is said and done and I reach my weight loss goals, I will feel more attractive and confident. Then I will feel brave to face the lions.

Tonight I have deleted my dating profiles on the sites I had been using for the past 3 years. It feels quite liberating. Strange too. Like I have finally become single after a long-term relationship. Well, i did have a relationship with those dating websites. I was faithful to each and everyone of them. I would browse profiles all night and weed out the men that were a bad match for me.

Tagged as: goals